


night driving

by itsinjustbeing



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Fix-It, Human Castiel (Supernatural), I'm a finale denialist, Insecure Dean Winchester, M/M, Post-Canon, Post-Episode: s15e19 Inherit the Earth, fluff with a tiny bit of angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-13
Updated: 2020-12-13
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:06:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,460
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28051383
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itsinjustbeing/pseuds/itsinjustbeing
Summary: Dean knew he was being a coward, had gathered that he has been hurting Cas by leaving him hanging like this, but he didn't know how to stop. Or more accurately, how to start. So it only makes sense that it was Cas who finally knocked on his door, that it was Cas who asked to be let in, who sat gingerly on the edge of Dean’s bed, who said "I am not going to apologize for what I said. I am sorry if I have made you uncomfortable, but I am not going to take it back."But it was Dean who said, "Then don’t." And it was Dean who kissed Cas first.And now they're here, in the car, and Cas is snoring softly in the passenger seat. There is no apocalypse to gear for, no world-ending event to try and solve, and Dean is content. Happy, even.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 4
Kudos: 115





	night driving

The Impala's rumbling is low under Dean. 

Night drives are always pleasant. There's just something about the relative darkness, the empty highways, and the gentle snoring of whoever is in the passenger seat that puts Dean at ease. There is a sweetness in the air sweeping through Dean’s face, courtesy of his rolled-down window. Right now, the person snoring on Dean’s passenger seat is Cas, whose head is resting on the closed window of his side of the car.

Cas sleeping is something Dean is still getting used to. It's only been a few months since Cas showed up back in the bunker after the whole mess with Chuck losing his powers and Jack becoming God. It was a long drive back home, punctuated with a _Hello, Dean_ and a shitton of awkward shuffling on Dean's end. He gathered that yes, Jack did bring back Cas from the empty, and yes, Cas opted to lose his grace in the process, and yes, he’s fully human now. _Quirks and all_. Dean let Cas explain things to his heart’s content, but the moment a lull in conversation occurred, Dean was out of the living room instantly. 

Dean isn't proud, per se, of how he acted that day. Or the day after that. Or the two weeks after that. He was terrified, after all, of many things: terrified that Cas didn't mean his deathbed confession that way, or that he changed his mind, or that whatever this is now, _whatever they are now_ , Dean is going to fuck it up and lose Cas anyway. He was terrified, and so he locked himself up in his room at every possible opportunity and avoided Cas at all costs in all the others. Whenever he had to interact with Cas though, he made sure Sam was there as a buffer. 

Dean knew he was being a coward, had gathered that he has been hurting Cas by leaving him hanging like this, but he didn't know how to stop. Or more accurately, how to start. So it only makes sense that it was Cas who finally knocked on his door, that it was Cas who asked to be let in, who sat gingerly on the edge of Dean’s bed, who said _I am not going to apologize for what I said. I am sorry if I have made you uncomfortable, but I am not going to take it back._

But it was Dean who said _Then don’t._ And it was Dean who kissed Cas first.

And now they're here, in the car, and Cas is snoring softly in the passenger seat. There is no apocalypse to gear for, no world-ending event to try and solve, and Dean is content. Happy, even.

It was ten more minutes of driving before Cas stirred awake. Dean noticed immediately, paying close attention to Cas’ breathing. _He has to breathe now_ , Dean remembers. There was a time when that thought would have terrified him, made his heart leap out of his chest, and not in the good way that Cas usually causes. But that time is not now, because now Cas actually chose this, chose _Dean_ , and yeah, a part of Dean’s brain is still screaming _You’re wrong Cas! I’m not worth it!_ But damn it if he’s not trying to just be happy, to respect Cas’ choices, to respect Cas’ love for him, for once.

“You sleep well? How’s your side?” Dean murmurs as he rolls up his window and turns on the AC. There, a bit more silence. A bit more privacy. 

“I’m alright. It’s a little uncomfortable. I think I fell asleep in an inconvenient position” Cas’ voice is a little deeper than usual, from sleep. The werewolves from the hunt were easy to take care of, but they did manage to get in a few scratches here and there. Right now, there are three claw wounds on Castiel’s lower right rib. They aren’t too deep. It only took Dean a few stitches to fix him up, but as Cas sat on the toilet cover of the motel bathroom, Dean hovering on his side, suture in one hand, Castiel’s flesh on the other, Dean knew perfectly well the unsaid things between them at that moment. _You’re human now. You’re hurt, and this is the only thing we can do about it._

Dean may have been on the edge of panicking; he certainly was feeling a little bit ill. And it probably showed, too, because Cas reached out and placed his left hand on Dean’s shoulder, and earnestly whispered _Dean, it’s okay._ Dean had wanted to argue, tell Cas that no, it’s not okay, that Jack can probably give him back his grace if he wants, that they don't have to do it like this. But one look at Cas’ peaceful expression and he knows damn well that it is, in fact, okay. He dropped his gaze down to the stitches and went back to work.

“Well, I told you to take the backseat so you can lie down, but you won’t listen to me.” Dean quips. It was barely a second before Cas responds. 

“I’d rather sit beside you, Dean”

Dean’s face heats up at that remark. He steals a glance at Cas and finds Cas looking intently at him, which only makes Dean blush even harder. Damn it, he feels like a schoolgirl with a crush over here.

“Why don’t you-” Dean clears his throat “Why don’t you scoot over and lay on my shoulder then?” Dean feels shy, but not embarrassed. He has figured out recently, with the help of his relationship with Cas, that there’s a difference.

Cas doesn’t reply, just snorts a little bit. He adjusts on his seat and moves closer to Dean. As soon as he lay his head on Dean’s shoulder, Dean starts smiling uncontrollably. When he looks down on Cas, he finds the man looking up at him, all soft eyes and cheeky smile.

Dean decides, right then and there, that he would give anything in the world to see Cas smile that way every day.

“Eyes on the road, Dean” Cas tilts his head forward when he says this, and Dean is suddenly grateful again for the clear highways that night driving affords him. 

They stay like this for a while, just silent, breath evening out. It was Dean who eventually succumbs to the temptation of conversation, though.

“Cas, you awake?”

Castiel hums in affirmation. Dean takes a steadying breath. 

“We should move out.”

Dean feels Cas stiffen on his shoulder and immediately knows that he said something wrong. Fuck, what is it? Did Cas not want to move out with him? Maybe Cas just really likes the bunker. Or maybe Cas just doesn’t want a life with him after all. Maybe he’s thinking of becoming an angel again and he doesn’t want to be involved with Dean anymore. Maybe-

“Dean.” Cas interrupts Dean’s train of thought. “What about Sam?”

Oh. Cas is concerned about Sam. That seems reasonable enough.

“Well, I’m sure he’d be fine. He has been talking about asking Eileen to move into the bunker with us, and I don’t think he would mind some alone time with her, if you catch my drift” Dean replies with a shit-eating grin. 

“No, that’s not what I mean.” Cas’ voice is soft, gentle, a sharp contrast to his tense body pressed up beside Dean. Dean feels like a child being spoken to. “Are you going to be fine without him?”

Huh. Well, count it on Cas to ask the hard-hitting questions. Dean ponders for a bit. He’s aware that Cas is aware of his fucked up relationship with his brother, so there’s no just half-assing his way out of the question. He’s given this a lot of thought too, when he first considered moving out. He has had a lot of time to think. 

“I know me and- me and Sam, we’ve been through a lot. We’ve lived our whole lives together. And yeah, there’s been pros to that, but the cons, man... "

Dean pauses, choosing his words carefully, centering himself enough to say his next thoughts out loud. 

“I think it’s time for us to live as just Sam, and just Dean, you know. Not tied together like that. I mean he’s my little brother, and I love him, but I think it’s time to live for myself now.”

A beat. Dean feels Cas relax back onto his shoulder, and Dean lets out a sigh of relief. 

“So, we moving out or what?” Dean is feeling cheeky again, and it shows. He nudges Cas’ head with his chin. He hears Cas chuckle a little bit. 

“I would like that, yes.”

Dean smiles and drives on through the night.

**Author's Note:**

> Hellooooo thank you so much for reading, I appreciate it a ton. I am deancascore on tumblr if yall wanna hang out. I might add a chapter here and there with this, or make it the first part of my post-canon universe fic series. let's see. As always, kudos and comments are super duper appreciated! thank you <3


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